There comes a time when you get to that age when its inevitable that the possibility of losing one or both your parents becomes a very harsh reality.
To me, death was never something that scared or made me all that sad. Guess I'm just weird like that. When I was in Jr. High I found out that the Irish celebrate their loved ones passing while they mourn the birth of newborns. I'm not sure that applies to today's culture, but from what I remember at the time it made perfect sense, like a really bright light was lit somewhere.
I mean really why cry about dying? Don't take it to mean that I'm one to go the complete opposite and be like "Oh yea. Good riddance. They're gone. Move on", more like celebrate that I knew them and everything they taught me. Cherish the memories I have of them and share those with with everyone else that loved them. Of course tears are gonna happen, but I can't see that I myself would be selfish enough to still want them here, when where they are is better ~ because they don't have to deal with the burdens of everyday life (or medication, or pain, or discomfort and there's nothing I can do to help, except be there).
And by them, I mean my parents.
My mom has been having an abundance of health problems for the past two years. Nothing like cancer or anything, thankfully. More like she was just diagnosed with type two diabetes, on top of lupus, and add arthritis to that, in two years time. And in a way I'm mad. And its not her I'm mad at, but more like reality has set in and the clock is ticking.
Because I would always tell her to watch what she was eating. That she didn't raise me to eat that way. I would suggest that she take up walking with my dad, even if it was going up and down indoor air conditioned supermarkets. When I was a kid my mom would weigh what she ate, and work out to her VHS tapes. I even tried to be like her and Mousercise at 6am all summer long.
I don't know the difference between type 1 and type 10 or if there is even a type 10. But I do know now, that I'm more at risk that ever and I doubt that whatever she has is reversible.
One grandma lived until her seventies. My other grandma is still with us, and she's the only grandparent I have left, who also has diabetes. My grandpa passed away late last year from ulcer complications that finally led to internal bleeding. My dad has almost been taken away from me three times. T H R E E. And I know every reason was of very unusual, out of his hands, freak incident circumstances. But my mom. Most of it could have been prevented. My mom, who I always thought would live forever.
The reality is that the past doesn't matter, it's what I do with her today that counts.
I'm afraid that I might not get another 20 years with her, and now I might be one of those selfish people that I don't understand that cry at funerals. Which only means I need to enjoy what time I have left with her, and hope this is the scare that she needs to actually take care of herself, because nothing I said to her got into her head.
Please don't tell me that you can't change people, they have to want to change. I'm aware of that. I don't know what I'm mad at, but add this to the list of everything else that is just pissing me off lately, that I also can't seem to let go of.
The most important this is she's still here with me, and I get to see her this weekend. Hopefully I'll have done enough research to give her some useful advice.
So go on watch this and laugh, cause I've already cried enough for one day.:
To me, death was never something that scared or made me all that sad. Guess I'm just weird like that. When I was in Jr. High I found out that the Irish celebrate their loved ones passing while they mourn the birth of newborns. I'm not sure that applies to today's culture, but from what I remember at the time it made perfect sense, like a really bright light was lit somewhere.
I mean really why cry about dying? Don't take it to mean that I'm one to go the complete opposite and be like "Oh yea. Good riddance. They're gone. Move on", more like celebrate that I knew them and everything they taught me. Cherish the memories I have of them and share those with with everyone else that loved them. Of course tears are gonna happen, but I can't see that I myself would be selfish enough to still want them here, when where they are is better ~ because they don't have to deal with the burdens of everyday life (or medication, or pain, or discomfort and there's nothing I can do to help, except be there).
And by them, I mean my parents.
My mom has been having an abundance of health problems for the past two years. Nothing like cancer or anything, thankfully. More like she was just diagnosed with type two diabetes, on top of lupus, and add arthritis to that, in two years time. And in a way I'm mad. And its not her I'm mad at, but more like reality has set in and the clock is ticking.
Because I would always tell her to watch what she was eating. That she didn't raise me to eat that way. I would suggest that she take up walking with my dad, even if it was going up and down indoor air conditioned supermarkets. When I was a kid my mom would weigh what she ate, and work out to her VHS tapes. I even tried to be like her and Mousercise at 6am all summer long.
I don't know the difference between type 1 and type 10 or if there is even a type 10. But I do know now, that I'm more at risk that ever and I doubt that whatever she has is reversible.
One grandma lived until her seventies. My other grandma is still with us, and she's the only grandparent I have left, who also has diabetes. My grandpa passed away late last year from ulcer complications that finally led to internal bleeding. My dad has almost been taken away from me three times. T H R E E. And I know every reason was of very unusual, out of his hands, freak incident circumstances. But my mom. Most of it could have been prevented. My mom, who I always thought would live forever.
The reality is that the past doesn't matter, it's what I do with her today that counts.
I'm afraid that I might not get another 20 years with her, and now I might be one of those selfish people that I don't understand that cry at funerals. Which only means I need to enjoy what time I have left with her, and hope this is the scare that she needs to actually take care of herself, because nothing I said to her got into her head.
Please don't tell me that you can't change people, they have to want to change. I'm aware of that. I don't know what I'm mad at, but add this to the list of everything else that is just pissing me off lately, that I also can't seem to let go of.
The most important this is she's still here with me, and I get to see her this weekend. Hopefully I'll have done enough research to give her some useful advice.
So go on watch this and laugh, cause I've already cried enough for one day.:
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