Holiday weekend recap

After getting back home from my long weekend this christmas eve, I was finally able to vacuum the apartment for the first time since Cinders and I arrived. Before I 'left' this past June I had stored my 'new' vacuum cleaner in my aunt and uncles garage and I finally remembered to ask them if it was ok to pick it up. As I rearranged the furnishings to clean the floor this treasure made itself known:

Mac in black, Grandpa in green.

My mother took this photo of her brother Mac and her dad this past Thanksgiving (less than a month ago). When I went home to San Angelo not too long ago, she sent this and other photos back with me to share with her sisters. As you can see, grandpa is still as handsome and healthy and happy as ever here. In the background you can see that he was surrounded by his beautiful family. As my cousin Mannie sat holding this photo in his hands he told me that Janah (grandpas ICU nurse) thought that grandpa and his youngest daughter Julie (Mannies mom) were brother and sister rather than father and daughter. Can you see why she might have thought that just by looking at this photo?

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After a long day Friday, Manny and I braved Target to finish up some more last minute shopping and to drool up and down the kitchen isles for items to purchase in our future kitchen. Somewhere along the way I asked if he wanted to go visit Daniel my brother and see his beautiful new home. I made a quick phone call and we were on our way.

We visited Missy, Duke and Daniel, played some Conker on his xbox until Daniel finally ushered our hyper Boo-Koo / Rock-Star asses out the door saying something about Gracie kicking his ass if he didn't have the house clean by the time she got home. (((I love you Gracie!!! Daniel is a better man because of you *remember that one time you gave me that look when Daniel ate what I put in front of him, I am returning that look to you for him cleaning your home. I am so happy you have each other!! )))

Sometime around 12:30 am Saturday morning we made our way back to his parents house. We giggled our way into the kitchen, some bottles of wine caught our ADD attention spans as did the the leftover pizza ordered earlier that day. Somehow it was decided that microwave pizza and Merlot would be an AWESOME midnight snack!!!

After spending about 20 minutes searching for a cork screw (can you see where I am going with this). . . and knowing that knocking on a neighbors door at 1:30 in the morning here would result in a shot gun to the face (hey this *IS* Texas, they have the right to bare arms) . . . My brain went into creative overload. I had to have wine and I had to have it NOW and here's what happened:

I asked if there was a wood screw. We found one in the junk drawer. Was there a plus sign screw driver? Hmmm . . . yea, but it didn't have much of a handle.

Screw the screw with the makeshift screw driver into the cork. Try to keep the giggles down.

Was there a hammer claw? No. How about a vice grip? No. Where is your uncles tool chest? In the garage. Turn on the lights, they don't work. Oh look here on the floor, a copper thingie that bends into a 'V' shape!!! Perfect!!!!! You're giggling too loud!!! Your gonna wake up Noah!!!

Squeeze the screw head with the copper thingie and slowly pull the cork away from the bottle. You're laughing man!!! SHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

POP!!!!!! HAHAHAHA Ok where are the wine glasses? OMG we're gonna have to drink out of shot glasses aren't we? There they are!!! Behind the faucet!!

4/5 of the way thru the bottle. . . . ZZZZZZ

We told his parents in the morning our story, they laughed AT us, not with us. It was still the best Merlot I've ever had!!

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When Santa asked me what I wanted for christmas this year, I said 'Food to eat, gas in my car, and my cel bill paid'. I'm simple this year. Santa was extra nice to me and gave me something that will be used way more than ever anticipated:

Brie, Breton & Pinot please!

Look Gir made room for his cupcake!

Gir is keeping my tootsies warm, and yes Jessica, you rocked my socks right off with this present!!! I will think of you everytime while I am wearing these awesome tootsie covers.

Santa loved us this year. Noah had a blast with the wrapping and boxes. Can you find him?

Tinkerbell on Geofrey's neck. I just know Santa's not going to be so good to me next year for this one!

Early morning wake up calls.

This morning my roomate cousin came home several hours early (five am), while he usually calls me before coming home to unlatch the door, the first words out of my mouth when he called were if I had overslept. He said I had not, but that he wanted to know if I didn't mind if we made our trek down south to the rest of the family super early this weekend.

With the big holiday looming, I said sure not thinking anything out of the ordinary. When he got home he starts furiously packing and shows me that his hands are shaking, shaking to the point of ... well of me worrying. But I don't panic. I asked if he was ok and jokingly asked if he had OD'd on caffeene. He said no, just that he had lots on his mind. (must have been lots more than Cinders disappearing at midnight, AGAIN) I dismissed his shakes while he went on to pack and tell me about his night, like he does every morning. I tried to pack up as quickly as he did, but he had loaded up mine AND his stuff while I was still packing in my morning drunken stupor. Ok, something is up I think to myself ~ but me being the person I am, I don't usually ask questions. If people want me to know something they will tell me when they are ready.

We hit the road at 6am and drive south to the family hive getting in a little after 7am. Everyone in the house was still sleeping except the parents. They were getting dressed. Somebody mentioned going to the hospital.

And again the music in my life soundtrack not only screetches but it stops momentarily.

First thing I though of was my future mommy cousin, and yesterday was her birthday. I had just talked to her around 10:30pm the night before because her brother insisted that I call her and tell her happy birthday. I joke whined in my toony voice 'Wasn't her semi-made myspace b-day graphic good enough'? I called her and we had our usual short chat. I hated to think that the house was empty because she was not in it, (my stomace literally flipped) and that was why we were going to the hospital. But good news it wasn't her.

The bad news: It was our grandpa.

My cousin didn't want to tell me because he thought I might panic. What he didn't know was this was the kind of news that I can handle as I've had my share of xmas downers. If I had known, I woulda been the one driving and not him because you didn't see how bad he was shaking. Also the morning story he told me, was about grandpa and not some random patient. I stood there in the entry way, I was floored by the news.

When my cousin mentioned his patient this morning and described the exact symptoms that our grandpa had suffered. My response was that it sucked to be that family for the season and they might have a hard time ahead, but they would eventually get thru it. That is another spin I have on my life. It's not that I'm not emotional or that I don't care, but in some situations I don't see the need to get upset as it doesn't help. It won't make the bad news better. You can't think clearly if you are overly emotional. While crying does help, it doesn't really solve anything. Though I do admit, crying does help at times.

My aunt, uncle, Mannie and I drove to north Dallas to this beautiful hospital. I could tell before we went inside that grandpa was in good hands. We spent the morning waiting to see grandpa, my family filling up the ICU waiting room (as usual). In events like these its usually a mini family reunion, more so than the typical holiday meals, there is always that relative there that you have not seen in years, you have no clue who they are, but they know you (or vice versa) and you are mentioned how much you've grown and how long it's been since you were last seen. Hugs are exchanged and the huddling and laugher starts. With every family tragedy, even random good or bad hospital visits my family manages to fill the waiting room. We all sit around laughing and joking, while any other families sit and stare ahead in somber silence.

I never understood those quiet somber families. It's not that we're disrespecful, but being down doesn't ever do anybody anygood.

I wanted to hear first hand about his condition. I find it funny that as old as my cousin and I are, we still get treated as children. We started to make our way to his area a second time and the family kept saying not to disturb grandpa. I wanted to speak to a nurse, better yet his doctor (but there was no doctor to chat with). The nurse said that he his leg was looking good and healing normally (the whole reason he was in the hospital to begin with). She was giving him as much fluids as he could take, but keeping him hydrated was a bit of an issue. His bodily functions were starting to stabilize. He had also lost 6 units of blood and the reason for it was an undetected ulcer that had ruptured while he was recovering from his leg surgery.

We left the hospital, and found out a few hours later that my grandpa is doing much better but his ulcer is still being a thorn in his side they plan to keep him in ICU for a while longer, just to keep an eye on him. He's in good hands and I trust he will have a steady recovery.
I read on red cross the average person has between 10-12 units, so he lost about as much as half of his blood. That number is better than what I originally thought, which was 8 units. At the very least I asked here where I could donate my own blood to grandpa. She suggested that I go to the admin building, but she could not answer that question herself directly. This kinda annoyed me, but I know that because of the stupid hospital politics, it's not as easy as just pulling up my sleeve, taking a seat, and pulling out a pint of fresh squeedly spooch.

I also know that even if I do donate my own blood, it's not very likely that my dear grandpa will ever have it run thru his veins. They do all sorts of tests now days, for any kind of cooties such as HIV or any other blood ickys. They also check for blood cell count, plasma and platelets and other unseen micro organisms that we take for granted. Not only that they cool it off and put thru all kinds of spinny CSI type tests just to make those lab techs go oooh and ahhh. That's why they get paid the big bux!

So anyway, sometime this weekend, in between visiting grandpa, celebrating the season, hangin with family, and trying to rest, I will be making a trip to the red cross and pulling up my sleeves to give to somebody what somebody gave to my grandpa, another chance at life, and that's better than any gift out there.

it's turkey day, time to get all mushy

Again with the thinking... and I've been doing alot of it recently, especially today and yesterday and trust me I have lots ot write about but I doubt that it will all fit in this single blog.

First of all with today being Turkey day and all that, I have been thinking of all that I have to be thankful for and of course I have my family and friends. Without all of you, I might have:

a) had some serious damage done to me, either self inflicted or done by a known second party

-or-

b) still be seriously miserable and alone *in* a relationship

I am thankful that neither of those horrible things happened. I am thankful that I am a much happier person today than I was a month ago. I am thankful that today I DID NOT have to eat off the $.99 menu at Jack-in-the-Box like last year and pretend I was "ok" with it when in reality I broke down and cried on the walk back to my apartment. I was really grateful that I didn't have to walk past anybody on that long walk home.

I am thankful that I have two very understanding, patient and non-judging, non-getting-involved-unless-the-child-asks parents. I am grateful that I have the most kick ass family out there, both immediate and extended. I am grateful that my mother doesn't ask me or my new sister in law "Where are my grandkids". And I'm really thankful for my wonderful new pro-pet-as-a-grandchild-sister-in-law. Because now I don't feel like such a freak for choosing to NOT have kids. I'm glad my mother was happy with having Carlo-the-Iguana as a grandchild (at one point).

I am glad I have a crazy kitty like Cinders in my life and glad that she puts up with being stuck in her carrier and going from bedroom after bedroom or bathroom or wherever small place I can keep her with me close by. I'm glad I could finally tell my mother how much the Cindercat means to me and that she understood why I can't just let the Cindercat go. I realized the other day that I've had the Cindercat as long as me and my first marriage crumbled.

(Which happened on December 6, 1996 btw and Cindercat joined me in August 1997) (Her name is Cinders cause I burned her whiskers with a lighter, plus she's all-black) (true story)

So Cindercat and me have had plenty of adventures together and she's not going anywhere, except with me! I'm glad that she still wakes me up in the morning with her potent CinderLick. I think it's adorable that she sits in my lap (and yes I know it's dangerous for both of us) when we go on our car trips. I'm glad that she's an affectionate kitty and she seems to melt most cat-hater hearts.

I said most, not all cat-haters.

I am thankful for the patience that I have when I want to scream because I am used to peace and quiet. Because someone gave me a *tip* earlier this year when I was frustrated with a person in my life. All I wanted them to do was SHUT THE FUCK UP. I wanted to know how to make them shutup without starting a fight, and my *tip* was just "Say OK." So I tried it, and it has worked with far better results what I would have ever expected on multiple occasions!!!

Those two little letters have stopped many situations from blowing up more than they would have this past month.

I am thankful that my mother was able to pull off both giving me roots and giving me wings. I found my wings long ago and I'm just now starting to find my roots (maybe because I came home) and I know why I am the way I am. Because of these roots, I hope to not make the same mistakes over and over. Because of my wings I am glad that I was able to experience my life as it has played out so far and hope to have many oportunities to use them again.

I'm glad I have the following people in my life, in no special order:

Mom - for trying, for being there when I need you. for listening.

Dad - for not asking questions.

DRH - for the loving relationship we have

GVH - for finding somebody close to me that makes you happy

MAV - for picking up where we left off, no judgement, but smarter and wiser, and able to share battle stories and compare notes. for a sounding board. for all the advice.

JDV - for trying to find yourself, for being my cheerleader. Listen to your heart and know that I'll love you no matter what you decide.

JV - for explaining your reasons.

TM-(G) - for those four hour phone calls cause we just can't get to Starbucks in Mission Valley no more.

DSA - for listening to me bitch on more than one occasion until 4am on the foot of your stairs. For giving me points of view I would have never thought about. For offering to care for CinderCat again.

ADK - for staying. period. for cooking *all* (and I mean all, especially that snow pea chicken all those years ago, even though I didn't eat it) those wonderful meals that we used share and discuss everything or sit in silence and be comfortable. For the cranberry oatmeal cookies that made me cry (in a good way cause it showed just how much you really cared) cause you saved some for me.

AH - also for those four hour phone calls, and for laughing with me AND for laughing AT me. If you didn't I never would have laughed at myself, for your sense of humor cause you appreciate my crassness. For never saying ' tell me how you really feel' when I do say how I really feel, explicitives and all.. For sharing your stories of your life with me so I can do the same for you.

RW - For all the entertainment and those hunky firefighters and beautiful boys in your life to look at. For your private messages that show me how much you really care. You've made my day on multiple occasions.

VG - For asking 'do you remember me', cause I could never forget you, and I'm grateful for the time we still get to spend together

TW - for listening, for encouraging, for asking, for all the updates.

JJV - cause you listen and really care even though we don't really know each other

For my own understanding that my situation is going to be what I make of it. I choose not to be unhappy anymore. I realize that this chapter in my life can be as short or as long as I want. I will find the best possible outcome I can. I have the support group to help me thru this.

I love you all and hope your turkey was as delicious as mine. I am thankful for my new extended family I was able to share it with today.

Happy 4th of July!

So today was a busy day. It started off with Heathers 12U Allstar Game against WAGS (up in Escondido) and they won their tournament/game 5-0. Next week is their State qualifier up in Lancaster. If they place in the top four then that means that we're going to Midland TX at the end of July. Oh joy!!! Nothing like the sweltering heat of west Texas and the smell of Texas Tea and the random Steers!! The good news is that I might get to see my family again (if they win)!!!! My parents may come up for a game which will be nice.

After the game we came back down to our neighborhood to eat some SUSHI!!!! (well at leat I ate some sushi) Sam just ate some Teriyaki Beef.

After that we went to this gym that Sam had mentioned has raquet ball courts. Long story short, we now have a really nice gym membership, with no contract! :) They have a lap pool, a hot tub, a dry saunda, raquet ball courts, bastketball/volleyball courts, aerobics, tons of cardio machines, and of course the weights and freeweights (those of which I will probably never use). They also have a juice bar, and a kids area (another thing I have no use for). I'm excited about going tomorrow and hopefully I can loose about 5lbs by August. (That's my goal anyway)

The last thing we did today was watch about 5 different fireworks shows go off from our balcony. Woo-hoo!! Anyway, happy 4th! And enjoy my pix!

Hope you're all safe and are enjoying your hangovers :)

Happy 4th of July

So around 9pm we look out on our balcony and there are 4 fireworks shows going off. I took a few photos, but most of them were too far away to be of any value. Around 10PM I hear these REALLY loud obvious fireworks sounds along with kids cheering. First thing I said was: 'Yea!!! THOSE don't sound ILLEGAL or anything' Next thing you know, Sam and I are out on the balcony taking some really AWESOME pix of the fireworks RIGHT in our backyard!!!!

In hindsight, I shoulda set the shutter to stay open for 2 seconds instead of it doing what it wanted to. Ah well, I know better for New Years. :)